Tuesday, July 12, 2011

You Can't Always Get What You Want

My source of contentment this week.
Contentment-noun- A state of happiness and satisfaction.

The above definition is relatively simple, yet I've noticed so many of us (myself included) have such a hard time understanding and achieving contentment in our lives. Why is this so when so many of us have so much to be thankful for?

As stated in a previous post, I had a tendency of looking at what I didn't have versus what I did have. I would achieve something and then look for my next big conquest. I compared myself to others and constantly thought, "If only I had so-and-so's life, I would be so happy."

Sadly, I overlooked my many blessings, such as my wonderful family, phenomenal friends, my health, a top-notch education, a job that pays the bills, etc.

I say this all in past tense because a few months ago I had an experience that opened my eyes to how ignorant and stupid I was being.

My roommate talked me into volunteering at a soup kitchen this past April. The experience as a whole was educational for me on so many levels, but one instance in particular really got me to stop and look at myself internally and make some changes.

Kristen (roommate) and I had just finished up our assignment of handing out canned goods to the elderly and handicapped outside the food shelter. We were standing inside saying goodbye to the people who had finished their meals when a woman approached me and asked me to pray with her. I readily agreed and as she took my hands in hers, I asked her what she would like to pray for.

To be honest, I was expecting her to ask to pray to better her situation or something along those lines. I couldn't have been more wrong. The woman looked me in the eye and said something like, "I want to pray for those poor souls in Japan and Tuscaloosa (both of these events had recently occurred at this point) who have lost family members, their possessions, and the will to live. I especially want to pray for those who don't know Jesus Christ. I want to pray that they will find Him, so that they have the strength to get through this and so they realize how lucky they are to be alive."

To say I was shocked at this woman's selflessness would be an understatement.  This woman pretty much had nothing, yet she still recognized that in the grand scheme of things her life wasn't that bad. I think this was the kick in the butt to get over myself that I needed.

Since this eye-opening experience, I've tried to keep my life in perspective and recognize how lucky I am versus dwelling on what I don't have. I'm twenty-four and have finally realized that I won't and shouldn't have it all at this point. 

I want to clarify that to me, contentment isn't just accepting your situation and not challenging yourself to be better. Contentment is being thankful for what you do have and working on what you would like to improve on, while not begrudging others for accomplishing things you have yet to achieve.

There is a difference between using someone's accomplishment(s) to push yourself to be better and allowing someone's accomplishment(s) to make you jealous and consume your life with unnecessary bitterness. 

In stepping back, I've reached a state of contentment in my life that I don't think I've ever experienced before. Don't get me wrong; I still have my weak moments where I question myself, my life's direction, and then some. However, I have found it easier to snap myself out of these negative thoughts now that I look internally, instead of externally.

Life has challenges and trust me, I fully understand that. At the same time, I'm fairly positive we can all find at least one thing to find contentment in every day. Even if it is something small such as the happy dog waiting for you when you get home, a hug from someone special after a rough day, or a beautiful sunset. As a friend said to me, "When you're busy looking at what you don't have, life will pass you by and you'll miss out on all the beauty." As cliche as this sounds, life is too short to dwell on the negative aspects.

I leave you with this quote from Eat, Pray, Love, "At some point you gotta let go, sit still, and allow contentment to come to you." Have you let contentment enter your life today?


                                

Thank you  Mitch Beer, Charles Wells, and Nicole D'Alonzo for your feedback on contentment and what it means to you.